Don’t Cry To Me About Misandry

I’m seeing a lot of posts lately about combatting misandry, giving men more freedom of expression, dismantling toxic notions that all men’s sexuality is evil, etc etc.

Here’s what I have to say about that: I was totally down for it under Obama. During those years, I was one of the biggest men’s advocates I knew. I taught men dating skills. I wrote posts asking for more compassion for men’s predicament in a toxically masculine society. I wrote blowjob articles for women inspiring them to enjoy the act of intimacy and I wrote more articles condemning other sex-negative authors for body-shaming men. I wrote specifically about the ways our society shames men and I loudly called for it to stop.

Now it’s 2017 and Trump is president. Women I knew were sexually assaulted in the days/weeks after the election. We are in dangerous lack of control of our reproductive healthcare. An average of 3 women A DAY in this country are killed by intimate partner violence. Rapists are walking with little to no jail time. We are moving backwards in time.

And y’all want me to care about how men are feeling right now? Where were you guys when I was advocating for you so hard? Why didn’t you do anything to stop this?

So yeah no. If I see you posting how mad you are that an author made a joke in a book inscription to a rape survivor about killing men, I’m gonna laugh at you. If I see you posting some sob story about how men are being vilified, I’m going to ask you whether you talk to your bros about whether they’re going around like Brock Turner raping women without understanding that that’s what they’re doing. If I see you directing the conversation to how men are being persecuted so badly these days I’m gonna direct it right the fuck back to where it belongs.

I was your biggest fan. I was your staunchest advocate. I gave my everything to protect you, over and over again. And you let me down.

Under Obama, I cared if your feelings were hurt by misandry. I really did. But you apparently could care less about not only my feelings but my physical safety, so until the tide changes again, you’ve lost my groundwork. Do some for me and then we’ll talk.

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