A few months back I decided to shift my focus from worrying about the journeys of other people I cared about to focusing on my own journey. To be clear, I was and am available to give my loved ones support when they ask. But I stopped investing in whether they accepted it or not.
A few things happened as a result:
1. I no longer had a distraction from my own work. In being alone with myself, I saw how much focusing on others enabled me avoiding my growth.
2. I saw how much I was staying in others’ vibrations for their and my comfort. It was easy to stay put when it was what we were used to.
3. I saw how I was congratulating myself for being so slightly further ahead than they were, for turning around encouraging them to catch up. I was feeding the energy of comparison.
4. I learned who I could trust to do their own work EVEN WITHOUT MY ENCOURAGEMENT. This is huge.
5. My own growth took off exponentially because now the only person I was racing against was myself. It was no longer enough just to be in the lead.
6. Along with my growth came new people, new teachers, new concepts, new teachings from previously unfamiliar places, because I had made space for them to show up.
7. More people than ever started coming forward to tell me I helped them just by going on my own journey and letting them know they’re not alone.
8. I became a better, more compassionate teacher and healer. I’m still on that path but I’m so much farther along than I was before.
So, stop mistaking caring for micromanaging. You can throw someone a life raft but if you jump off the boat after them you’ll both drown.