Captain’s Log, 3.12.16

It’s difficult loving someone like me, because if I choose to love you, I will love and see and accept you for everything you are. This means you had better love and see and accept you too.

Other people will let you keep up a facade. You will be able to spend an entire relationship pretending to be the version of you that you think is most acceptable. I on the other hand will not only see right through that shit, I will allow and even inspire you to express your darkness, your secrets, your shames, and I will hold them in a space of empathy and acceptance. I will support you in growing into the person you want to become while loving the person you are right now.

This means you need to make peace with your worthiness of being loved, right now, exactly as you are – to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, to trust in your own ability to be good and kind and loving, to treat yourself, flaws and all, with the care and gentleness and compassion you deserve.

Otherwise you’re gonna look at me and all the ways I let you be yourself, and you’re gonna say “Fuck you Arden for reminding me what a piece of shit I think I am,” and you’re gonna leave me.

And that’s like super, super unfair.

Self-love IS compassion. Self-love is a commitment to showing up for the people who love you back.

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