Yesterday I had lunch with a brilliant and successful man whose work I greatly admire. We were talking about re-patterning and breaking out of our limiting mindsets and trauma imprints, and the topic of romantic relationships came up. “Yeah but Arden, can you really change the kind of person you’re attracted to?” he asked me. … [Read more…]
t’s often been said that if you feel an immediate, urgent attraction or connection to someone, that that’s a sign you should run – that it is inevitably your shared wounding communicating to each other. This is only true if you’re still in your wounding. We tend to recognize our soul connections very immediately. They’re … [Read more…]
I’m seeing a lot going around the coaching world lately about how mind-based work isn’t enough to shift the imprints left by trauma. Anyone who is telling you this is deeply uninformed. This line of thinking completely bypasses entire modalities such as belief hacking, hypnotherapy, Timeline Therapy™, mindfulness, and meditation, among many others. I’ve even … [Read more…]
The theme of entitlement and attachment to outcome has come up at least 4-6 times over the last two weeks, so ok universe, let’s address that. When I was a people-pleaser, it was more difficult for me to notice when people wanted me to do something I didn’t want to do, because I wasn’t able … [Read more…]
Hey everyone. There’s been a theme coming up lately in some circles about whether it’s necessary for us to be “triggered” to release our trauma – whether it’s both necessary and appropriate for facilitators to cross our clearly stated boundaries, scream in our faces, or break us down in front of the entire room in … [Read more…]
Has anyone else noticed lately that there are all kinds of opportunities coming up for us to form a healthier relationship with our anger? Especially if you’re a femme-identifying person, or perhaps you’re not, but you’re feeling anger that seems to emanate from your feminine side. This purge began for me a couple weeks ago, … [Read more…]
So you guys know how all this stuff around trauma and touch and sexuality and desensitization came up for me in the last two weeks or so and I’ve been processing it all here publicly like I typically do? Right. I forgot that about a month ago I cast a spell for something like “I … [Read more…]
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I’m both a powerful leader and also a person who realized and purged a metric fuckton of trauma in a relatively very short time and is still going through phases of separating herself from it in order to perceive the distance that will allow for more sovereignty and … [Read more…]
Removing your excuses is an ongoing process. Reclaiming your energy is not something you do in one sitting. The more cords to extraneous influences you cut (read: the more you stop wasting time worrying about things that don’t matter or stop putting effort into things that aren’t serving you out of old unconscious programming), the … [Read more…]
I’m going through some complicated understandings of the relationship between my sexuality and trauma recently. [CN: trauma, abuse, assault, mind control] It took me a long time into adulthood before I realized that BDSM had been, for me, a way of normalizing abuse. That sounds dark, and it was, but remember that anything that makes … [Read more…]