Do Something Nice For Yourself

[CN: mentions of trauma, suicidal ideation] I’m sitting here having possibly just eaten the best dessert of my life. That I made for myself. I posted earlier this week about how my body was calling for me to eat healthier, local foods and how I’ve committed to creating meals out of farmers market hauls. But it was just today that the big realization hit me: I’m cooking purely for myself. Three years ago, at the very outset of my trauma healing journey, I remember joking about how I only cooked…

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The Grief Of Growth

One thing they don’t tell you about upleveling into your next stage of alignment is how painfully it can bring up everything that’s not in alignment. When you call in new friends who show up for you and treat you well, it will make it obvious which friends don’t. When you call in new creative partnerships that support you and align with your growth, it will make it obvious which ones aren’t making the same cut. When you call in new lovers who engage with you in fearless intimacy and…

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The Body’s Answer Is Never Personal

The thing about resensitizing your body and learning discernment is that nothing is ever personal anymore. I say no to going out with you? Sorry, not my decision, my body says no. I’m not a yes to your idea? Again, nothing personal, just listening to my body. You want me to do something I’m not in alignment with? Sorry, it’s not in alignment. I can’t help that. If I’m supposed to do something important, I’ll know. I know now whether I’m an immediate, full-bodied yes to something. I know when…

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How To Be Smart When You Surrender To The Masculine

Tonight I was at a party with a bunch of consciousness high-vibe kinda folks, and I got into a conversation with a woman about conscious relating. We were sharing our stories of spiritually awakening, healing from trauma, and repatterning our former toxic relationship habits, and I told her about how I had once used BDSM and the identity of being a submissive as a means of enabling my inability to set personal boundaries and/or identify my needs. She shared with me that although she doesn’t want to invite toxicity or…

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Let Go

This eclipse season, remember: There are 8 billion people on the planet. There will be friends who don’t immediately go on the defensive when they hurt you or make you feel lesser because they don’t understand you. There will be lovers who show up wanting to spend time with you without making you feel like an inconvenience or blaming you for their own feelings of lack. There will be career opportunities for work that doesn’t drain you, that doesn’t feel like the same grind you’re used to. In order to…

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It Is Ok To Titrate Into Abundance

Affirmation: It is ok to let go of my resistance at my own pace. It is ok to titrate into abundance. It is ok to titrate into abundance even if – especially if – I am calling in universally celebrated abundance such as money, love, or happiness, things that we are supposed to want in limitless quantities. I protect my vessel. I honor the capacity of my body at all times. It’s ok for me not to push through my comfort zones as long as my compass is pointed in…

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Increasing Perceptiveness

I talk a lot about how The Re-Patterning Project gives its participants a comprehensive view of their human operating systems, allowing them to identify unconscious patterns and trace them back to their earliest origins, where they can choose a different option and release the unwitting grip their past has had on them. But what I don’t talk about as much is how much TRPP also gifts us with an understanding of the patterns in others. It might not – should not – be the focus of the first run, where…

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Beauty

For the coming month, the key concept I am focusing on is beauty. I don’t mean physical attractiveness, although that is certainly one form (and even that one form has many sub-forms). I mean beauty as an energetic vibration, as an energy that can be cultivated, carried, and expressed. Beauty makes space for darkness in a way that isn’t found in vibrations like happiness and positivity – even bliss, while closer, is still so pastel. Beauty possesses a richness. Beauty contains coziness as much as it contains awe, it contains…

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Refeeding Syndrome And Foreboding Joy

I first learned about refeeding syndrome reading Viktor Frankl’s The Search For Meaning, his memoir of surviving the Holocaust. When concentration camp survivors were first rescued and released from their starvation, many of them suffered fatalities if they overnourished their bodies too quickly. Wikipedia explains the mechanics: “Refeeding syndrome is a syndrome consisting of metabolic disturbances that occur as a result of reinstitution of nutrition to patients who are starved, severely malnourished or metabolically stressed due to severe illness. When too much food and/or liquid nutrition supplement is consumed during…

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What Is The Re-Patterning Project?

If you’ve been following my page at all, you’ve probably seen the deluge of videos and posts I create in the service of helping people gain understanding of their patterns and how to bring greater awareness to their choices so they can operate from full creative freedom in order to bridge the gap between where they are now and the life that brings them bliss, happiness, and a full-bodied yes. But every once in a while I remember to break it down and explain to people what it is we…

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